Current status: on a hiatus

2022 was my best year yet. I published 4 (and a half) new games in a row and, for the first time in forever, I actually felt proud of my accomplishments and allowed myself to believe that maybe I was more than just a waste of space. For a brief moment, it seemed like things were finally starting to be better but, as always, the good times didn't last. After publishing New Tales of Old, my mental health took another steep nosedive. I spent a few weeks working on the WIP list, desperately wanting my ideas for future games to keep me motivated but, in the end, I found myself yet again emotionally, psychologically, and even physically drained from constantly having to fight not only my inner demons, but also the ones I am still living with, and just didn't have the energy to do anything anymore.

Then, the war came, and, with it, inflation went crazy. Real estate, utilities, gas, even food, everything skyrocketed in pricing. The reality of being stuck living with my abusers (who are still getting me triggered sometimes multiple times a day) became more real than ever, more inevitable than ever, and my mental health tanked even more, bringing back old sui* ideations. (If you have an extra penny to spare, please consider donating to the Fundraiser.)

After over 5 endless months of not being able to work on any creative projects, I am ready to admit to myself that I am officially on a hiatus. As much as I am in desperate need of money to move out, the truth is that, for me, creating new games tends to be more exhausting than fun, and, right now, I just don't have the energy to force myself to be creative. Right now, I need to take a step back from creating new content and just take some time off for myself.

I still want to go back to working on my WIP projects eventually (at my own pace), but I honestly don't know when I'll be able to do so. As such, I have no idea when I will be publishing new games again because right now "existing is exhausting".

[Update: After 16 months of not being able to work on any of my projects due to burnout, The World Outside This Window is finally out, thanks to the One-Page RPG Jam 2023.]

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